i am feeling rather annoyed right now, so i am going to sleep. grrr.

9:54 PM

zomg! 1 more week!

CLIQUE: OPEN YOUR MAILS!

you know there was one episode of O.C, season 4 where Ryan had bad insomnia (i had to check the dictionary to spell this word) for a few months and Taylor ask him to kiss her to see if there were sparks and if there was then good for them, if not then Taylor would quietly leave. and after they kissed, Taylor ran out, embarrassed. and Ryan went, "Wow." and he fell asleep after plopping on his bed.

and you know what, i've been having insomnia for the past week or so, and i'll lie on my bed at 10.30pm and only fall asleep after 1am. and it was restless sleep cos i'd bee having weird dreams and i couldn't sleep properly cos i keep waking up. and if i woke up to go to the toilet, i'll lay in bed for the next half hour or so. and thus, i'd fall asleep at my desk at work the next day.

but after Boyfriend kissed me goodbye last night. i had the most wonderful sleep. no dreams, no waking up every hour or so, no using of Travis to help me sleep by listening to slow, boring songs. i didnt even wake up to go to the toilet.

and the butterflies are still fluttering around in my stomach. :)

till then!

PS: nic owes me a lap dance for my birthday. MUAHAHAHA!
PPS: i think sheila, ninny and the rest are up to something secretive this weekend. hmm. it better not be illegal.

9:12 AM

I know I'm kind of strange
to you sometimes
don't always say
what's on my mind
you know that I've been hurt by some guy
but I dont wanna mess up this time

and I really really really care
and I really really really want you
and I think I'm kinda scared
cause I don't want to lose you
if you're really really really there
then maybe you can hang through
I hope you understand
It's nothing to you

my heart's at a low
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know
that I've been damaged
I'm falling in love
there's one disadvantage
I think you should know
that I've been damaged

I might look through you're stuff
for what I don't want to find
or I might just set you up
to see if you're all mine
I'm a little paranoid
from what I've been through
you don't know what you've got yourself into
(i'm not that psycho)

and I really really really care
and I really really really want you
and I think im kinda scared
cause I don't want to lose you
if you're really really really there
then maybe you can hang through
I hope you understand
It's nothing to you

my heart's at a low
I'm so much to manage
I think you should know
that I've been damaged
i'm falling in love
there's one disadvantage
I think you should know
that I've been damaged

11:43 AM

my dad is the most insensitive and unreasonable man on this face of this earth. zomg. rawr!

7:26 PM

5:52 PM

i'm in the office now and i'm so sleepy i could just fall on the table asleep. but the thing is i cant. and its raining and its so cold here. my fingers, toes and nose are numb.. :(

3:41 PM

keng wrote something in her blog for me a couple of days ago.

"you're a funny person. and i let you have your way all the time. although i dont tell you this much. but i really love you. you've been a great friend since i've met you. and you've never let me down. you're so sweet sometimes, really. and maybe you're just like that to every single one of your friends, considering how devoted you are."

but you know what sweetheart? i only pick people i want to be nice to.
call me poison ivy. or P.I. for short. :)

9:02 PM

qianyun: "My boyfriend's name is Xavier."
me: "ZOMG! my camera's name is Xavier!"
qianyun: "what! my bf is a living thing ok."
me: "uhh, ok. but my camera is really called Xavier!"
qianyun: "then i name mine bert."
me: "..."

after all those years, her lameness is still around and kicking all of us in the butt.

3:06 PM

so the interview was yesterday. i wouldn't say it's very good. but it wasn't bad either. i hate interviews and i stutter when i'm nervous. ok, maybe not. and i wouldn't be surprised if they didnt choose me considering there's many other people who can speak and impress the lecturers better then me.

on a lighter note i got to hang out with Boyfriend.
(and i won him playing some fighting game on his PS)

but i didnt get to see ninny cos she had class. :(
and nic's going for camp. :(
and i think sheila's too engrossed in maple to bother about me. :(
(lubb juuu all luh)

10:46 AM

12:54 AM

12:53 AM

so i woke up really early today to go to ikea with my mom to buy my frames. and before that we sent my dad to this golf course at kallang/marina. and my mom had difficulty remembering where to exit and my dad was telling her. so i pointed out that i knew where to exit and my dad was surprised. so i told them that i went there before. its near the stadium and Gilbert and i went to eat mushroom pot once when we were still flirting with each other and walked around the river a bit. and my dad said, "your friends and u come here do what!?" -.- eat luh.

so anyways, ikea we went and i saw a chair gilbert, a chair stephn and a folding chair jeff. zomg. my boyfriend and friends are chairs! and i saw a cusion called Galnat or something of that sort. i finally bought my frames and i'm rather afraid it's too big i cant stick enough photos or am not creative enough to fill up the spaces.

now i'm so annoyed with my camera printer cos the pictures that i transfered to my memory card to be uploaded cant be read by the printer! so i cant print them at home and i gotta bring it to the shop to print it! and the machine uses ATM card or cash card and i have neither! :@ my dad needs his cash card for the car. so i cant borrow. sobs.

but on the lighter note, i get to meet boyfriend tomorrow for breakfast and in the late afternoon gonna meet up with joey. she's one tough cookie i miss. :(

10:32 PM

i wonder if i have silent readers. anyhow, since i'm utterly bored i shall waste both my time and yours doing this thing.

1.Story behind your MySpace song?
my myspace account dont have a song.

2. What's bothering you right now?
some idiots who are refusing to reply to my msges.

3.Where do you live?
dreamland.

DESCRIBE YOUR..

4. Wallet:
its green and long and cost $8?

6. Background on your cell phone:
some flower flower shit thingy that comes with the phone?

7. Jewelry worn daily:
star necklace.

8. Pillowcase:
purple.

9. Eyes:
black.

10. Sport:
is shopping counted?

13. CD In Stereo?
CDs were so yesterday.

14. Piercings:
ears and tragus.

WHAT ARE YOU..

15. Wearing?
PJs.

16. Wanting?
this navel piercing. and maybe a tattoo or 2. (that is if my parents dont disown me or throw me out.)

17.Where are you?
at home.

18. Listening to?
JT - my love.

19. Something you're afraid of?
the dark?

20. Do you like candles?
kinky. i like.

21. Do you like the taste of blood?
NO!

22. Do you believe in love?
yess

23. Do you believe in soul mates?
uhh, ask me on my wedding day.

24. Do you sleep with the ceiling fan on?
my ceiling fan is in the living room and i dont sleep there, so no.

25. Do you like seafood?
LOVVEEEE IT!

26. Do you remember your dreams?
a couple.

27. Do you consider yourself a study freak?
a geek yes. but NEVER a study freak.

30. Do you burn easily in the sun?
dont think so.

31. Do you speak another language other than English?
hokkien?

32. What's something you wish you could understand better?
zzz. chinese.

33. What are you doing this weekend?
rotting at home?

35. Who do you miss?
gilbert.

36.Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
HAHA! NO! SIAO AH.

37. Orange or apple juice?
orange?

38. Who were the last people you went out to dinner with?
parents and grands.

39. What was the last text message you sent?
something about me missing this person called nicolette yeo yin ying. (and she didnt reply me.) =(

40. whats your lucky numbers?
9 i hope.

41. Last time you ate a home grown tomato?
uh, maybe about 8 years back in Aust?

42. Have you ever won a trophy?
yess. haha.

43. Are you a good cook?
i dont know. am i?

44. Sprite or 7-up?
7-up

46. Last thing you ate?
bak kuah!

47. Would you rather find true love or be a millionaire?
true love.

48. Think fast.. Who do you hate right now?
no one.

49. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
my granddad a couple of years ago.

50. Do you like anyone right now?
i'm in love.

----------------------------------------------

1) What is your phone brand?
> nokia

2) What are the last 4 digits of your mobile number?
> 2128

3) What does the 2nd message in your inbox say?
> erm, gilbert saying that we could go to ikea after my interview on thurs and reassuring me that i can get in because i'm confident and cute. and that he misses me. =x

4) Who's the first person who comes up under the letter M?
> maine.

5) Who's the last person you rang?
> che

6) Who was your last missed call from?
> che

7) Who's the 2nd person who comes up under D?
> dara

) What does the last message in your inbox say?
> "princess go sleep and watch DVD than she dont care about me anymore.. so, goodnight" HAHAHHA!

9) Who comes up under J?
> jace, jeff, jermy, jesmine, jessica, jiawen, jo, joey, jojo, joshua, juli, junda.
kao! i know so many J people.

10) Go to your Sent Items - what does the 10th message say?
> telling gilbert about this rabbit who's so fat its bigger then my head and has an eye infection and that i played pool.

11) Who's the 4th person who comes up under S?
> sham

12) What's your network provider?
> singtel

13) How many messages are currently in your inbox?
> 96

14) What do you have as your screensaver?
> some picture of boyfriend and i.

15) Who's the 2nd person who comes up in r?
> rae

16) Who do you have on speed dial 3?
> no speed dial numbers

17) Who is the last person under P?
> peiyi

18) Who's the first person who comes up under C?
> cecilia

19) How many bars of signal do you currently have?
> 4

20) What do you have as your main ringtone?
> some jay chou song.

------------------------------------------

1.Name someone who made you smile today.
` boyfriend

2. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
` was still sleeping

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
` mahjong!

4. What is something that happened to you in 1992?
` i was 3. and i dont think i can remember.

5. What is the last thing you said aloud?
` "I'M NOT HUNGRY!" haha.

6. How many different drinks did you drink today?
` water, tea, juice, soup

7. What color is your hairbrush?
` black

8. What was the last thing you bought?
` i cant really remember.

9. Who was the last person you kissed?
` erm. boyfriend?

10. What color is your front door?
` brown

11. Where do you keep your change?
` in my wallet

12. What is the weather like today?
` rainy

13. What is the best ice cream flavor?
` B&J's some chocolate flavour thingy.

14. What is something you are excited about?
` uhh. i dont know.

15. When was the last rainbow you saw?
` last year at vivo with my classmates.

16. What size shoe do you wear?
` 6/7

18. Are you very random?
` at times yes

19. Do you want to cut your hair?
` uhh, not at the moment.

20. Are you over the age of 25?
` nope.. under.

21. Do you talk a lot?
` yes alot. i think.

22. Do you watch The O.C?
` not all the time

23. Does your screen name have an "x" in it?
` no!

24. Do you know anyone named Steven?
` yes. my parent's friend.

25. Do you make up your own words?
` haah yeahhh.

26. Are you ticklish?
` super. just ask gilbert.

27. Are you typically a jealous person?
` not really.

28. Name someone whose name starts with the letter "R":
` rachel

29. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "N":
` nicc

30. Who's the 1st person on your received calls list?
` keng

31. What did the last text message you received say?
` scroll up.

7:45 PM

URGH!!!

every house we visited either asked if i was in which secondary school level or in which university. why can't one relative hit the nail on its head and ask if i'm going or am in JC/poly. do i not look 18 to you. hmmm?

and i'm getting fatter. i seriously think so. every house we visit i'll be eating. be it lunch or pineapple tarts or chocolates or crackers.

and my cousin kept asking me to play poker with him. and he's 12 only. and its getting rather annoying.

i miss my boyfriend, but i think he don't want me already. :(

i think i should count how many times i say the words 'TP' and 'tourism' this CNY. that will keep me entertained.

and i'm still whining about how bare my room is.

by the way, i soaked ninny's egg and a dino hatched! ahha! my mother was complaining why it was so slimy. and i wanted to say, "just like dear ninny." ahaha!

6:23 PM

first of all, i seriously need to reorganise my wardrobe. its in a biggg mess.

second, my room's looking really plain. even my mom and sister commented on it. so i need to go to ikea and get a nice big frame to stick photos and what not in it.

third, i hate crowded places. do you think ikea will be? like on wed or thurs or whatever after the CNY holidays?

fourth, i need to find the time and energy to go all the way there and lug it all the way back.

great.

and tomorrow being the first day of CNY and all, i'm sure a lot of relatives are going to ask me about my friggin O's and results and my future plans which i am about to make. and i have difficulty translating Tourism into chinese or hokkien. plus, i'm really sick of talking about it already. oh god.

till then,
tata!

10:18 PM

hello folks, happy CNY eve. i am very bored while waiting for OC to load.

tylor is so weirdly funny you know that?
seth's always geeky cute.
ryan's the emo muscle boy.
summer's the bimbo who gives a damn about nature.
and marrisa's gone.

i love Season 4's Episode 7. when they showed how life would be so different if Ryan didnt come along. and how he saved Marissa when she OD-ed in Mexico. and how he gave her 3 more years. zomg. so sad. btw, ryan and tylor are hooking up. its so funny!

till then,
tata!

3:07 PM

hung out with Nicc and Keng yesterday. told my mama i was going for keyboard when actually i didnt have lessons. Nic wanted to shop and i refused to go to bugis. esp this time of the year we'd be fighting for breathing space and i had enough of smelling other people's hair and armpits. so, we went somewhere with air-con, less crowd and good clothes. Marina Square. ok, not really good clothes unless you count Topshop, Zara, Mango, etc etc. but they are rather expensive. (i rmb nic said if she has the cash she'd buy me the dress with the fishes) HAHA! and keng pointed out a shirt which says, "i heart my boyfriend". zz. totally ah-lianish.

and the bages in topshop are seriously over priced.

my boyfriend's having a hungover because he went to MoS ytd. and yes, they went to 54. ZOMG LA! I LOVE THE FLOORS! i wish i had floors like 54 in my room. like so cool. and the bubble chairs! 3 more weeks nat, 3 more weeks.



"I miss u princess."
"I miss you more."
"No i miss you more more!"
"I miss you most."
"No i miss you the mostEST"
"No lor, i miss you mostest of the mostest. (althought there's no such word as mostest)"
"I miss you & and its more than the amount of air in the world!"
"I miss you more then the weight of this Earth!"
"Okay princess you win ! But i still miss you more.."
"..."

10:58 AM

ZOMGWTFBBQ!! (i learnt that from keng)

I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE TP JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL SAYING THAT I SHOULD GO DOWN FOR AN INTERVIEW ON THURDAY AT 2PM. ZOMGWTFBBQ!!! YAY! i totally freaked out when i opened my mail! HAHAHAHHA!

NINNY & QI: what time does your classes end/break starts?

ZOMG! I AM FREAKING OUT! what if they ask me some stupid questions which i dont know how to answer. what if they ask me to tell them more about myself? omg! i am uber boring! say what say what! zomgzomg!

and btw, you know how your grandma always say, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach? i so believe that. haha!

& rachel is the sweetest junior i ever know! zomg! i lubbb joooo!

9:07 PM

dear you,

thank you for the stalk of flower. its beautiful.
thank you for the card. its perfect.
thank you for dinner. its zomg full.
thank you for the necklace. its my guiding star.
thank you for the hugs and kisses. it made me flutter.
thank you for you. because you taught me how to love again.

when you bought me a new pair of sicssors when mine gave me bruises.
when you came all the way down just to do JAE with me.
when you hugged me when i was cold.
when you said the lift as lab.
when you'd play 'kumpong' games with me just to amuse me.
when you'd whine and pretend to cry when i win you in all the games.
when you called my hair 'Natnose'.
when you'll tickle me to stop me from grinding my teeth.
when you told me i was your motivation.
when you combined Blur and Nat and called me Princess Blat.
when you took me to mushroom pot and even let me have the last mushroom.
when you kissed my thumb when i had a paper cut.
when you said you'll protect me from all the weirdos who tried to be funny with me.
when you held the bag over my head to shield my eyes from the sun.
when you held my hand when we crossed the road.
when you kissed my hair and told me it smelt nice.
when you pinched my fats and told me i wasn't fat. -..-
when you tried to play online fun poker just to win some credit for me to loose.
then you'll get all appologetic when you loose some.
when you'll tie my laces for me when i didnt want to.
when you pointed out the northern star and told me i wont get lost since i'm wearing it.
when you offered to knock out the sand in my shoes if we walked on sand.
when you said you were feeling down just so you could get another kiss.
and then your heart would race so much.
when you bluffed me that the different airlines's lights blinked differently. and i believed you.
when you'd push strands of hair out of my eyes.
when you caught me when i tripped over a tree root.
when you told me you love me.

thats when i love you.
just that way.

with lots of love,
XOXO,
me.

6:55 PM

6:30 PM

4:59 PM

Vday outing with the Clique. went to Vivo Marche and i havent seen Becky in the longest time and i finally met up and caught up with her today. :)

we ate like there's no tomorrow and i shared a beef steak, soft shell crab, and crepe with becky while having an ice blended chocolate. fab i tell you. also, fat i tell you. we ended up playing Shoot, Shag, Marry after dinner and people like 'Oil tank' and 'Button your collar' kept coming up. at one point of time, Qi went, "can i shoot myself instead?"

toi and jo fought over balloons. -..-

too bad we couldn't hung out longer cos i missed all those people so bloody much. and quite sad nic couldnt join us. :(

thank you Sheila for the Heart.
thank you Ninny for the badges and that thing which i havent soaked yet.
thank you Becky for the candies.
thank you Qi for the balloon!
thank you Toi for the Smarties.
thank you Jo for the chocolate cookies.
thank you Sham for the crown necklace.

thank you everyone, for the love, laughter and company.

click here for the rest of the pics.

----------------------------------

before i went to meet them i was walking towards my house bus-stop to take a bus to serangoon MRT and while i was walking there, 73 came and a few people alighted. one of them was this Bowen Sec boy who walked away from the bus-stop and suddenly stopped and whiped out his camera phone and i think he tried to take a picture of me. ITS SO BLOODY OBVIOUS LA! zomg!

so i told myself not to be so thick skinned and just walk away, maybe he likes my Flesh Imp shirt. -..- so i put my paper bag on the chair and sat down, then he WALKED BACK TO THE BUS-STOP and sat at the seat opposite me. WTF. and he thinks he damn stealth pretend pretend not taking pic. so thinking that my skirt might be too short, i stood up and turnned my back to him. WAH LAO, HE STILL TAKE. then i got quite scared and called nic. but she didnt pick up her phone. so i called sheila who very kindly talked to me. and she said, "Why you scared of small boy?"

SOBS, HE IS NOT SMALL OK. does a boy who's taller and fatter then me small? i scared he squash me. :( so anyway, i said very loudly into the phone, "he thinks i dont know that he's taking a picture of me. dont anyhow play, my boyfriend's in some big gang ah!" but obviously it didnt work as he continued to take photos with his bloody camera phone and Sheila was sniggering away.. zomg! so freaky! so i went around and hid behind a pillar under the sun.

when 315 came (it took forever!) so did 73. and he didnt take both buses! zomg. i am scared to go out now already.

boyfriend said he'll kill that guy if we ever see him again. =X (but when i was complaining to him he laughed at me ok. zzz.)

12:36 AM

i am officially done with JAE and JPSAE. they can go fuck themselves now. :D

now all i need to do is pray they at least give me a try for an interview for HTM.

going to meet the clique later. early V-day celebrations. :D only my friends and boyfriend can make me this excited over a holiday (and its not an official one somemore).

till then,
tata!

ps: i think my friends are going to get diabetees at the rate i'm giving them their V-day present.

4:51 PM

i am seriously freaking out about JAE and JPSAE. I was submitting my JPSAE application form for TP's Hospitality and Tourism Management and i wasn't prepared for that. and after i wrote my "talents" i had a problem squeezing it into 500 chars. zz.

does this sound convincing?

I am passionate about joining this course as i possess a positive attitude and am passionate about being of service to others and am sensitive to others' needs. I like meeting new and being around people and am very friendly and outgoing. Whenever i have a challenge in hand, i am sure i will overcome it with a positive mindset, attitude and with a smile. I am also responsible as I have taken on leadership roles and am able to carry it out well, as i am able to communicate well with my teamates.

and then i changed it to:
I am enthusiastic about joining this course as I possess a positive attitude, passionate about being of service to others and am sensitive to others' needs as I have worked in the service industry before. I like meeting new and being around people.I am very friendly and outgoing. Whenever I have a challenge in hand, I am sure I will overcome it with a positive mindset, attitude and with a smile. I am also responsible as I have taken on leadership roles and am able to carry it out well as I am able to communicate well with my team mates.

and then:
I am convinced that HTM is the right course for me as the curriculum will enrich me and prepare me for a job in the service industry which I am interested in. I possess a positive attitude and am passionate about being of service to others and am particular to each person’s needs and wants. Being able to communicate well with others is my forte, which comes into play when meeting new individuals or when delegating work as a leadership figure. Whenever I have a challenge in hand, I am sure I can overcome it with a positive mindset, attitude and with a smile.

and finally:
I am convinced that HTM is the right course for me as the curriculum will enrich and prepare me for a job in the service industry which I am interested in. I’m sure that the school will provide me with the skills necessary for acquiring a job readily upon completion of the course. I am a suitable candidate because I possess a positive attitude, good communication and leadership skills and am passionate about being of service to others as I am particular to each person’s needs and wants. Thank you.

God. good enough?

10:18 AM

fuck JPSAE seriously, WHY ASK SO MUCH!

12:36 AM

i thought 16 was a not bad mark. but you know what? it isnt. its so stuck in the middle. i wish i'd done better. and i have no idea why you guys are proud of me for what. zzz.
fuck sjc for giving us geog and hist to choose instead of lit.
fuck miss chew for being such an inspiration. not.
fuck geog.

you know what? i have no idea why i'm blaming every other thing except myself. so yes,

fuck me. for not studying hard enough.

i wish i had more interesting options.
you dont see me in design.
and definatly not engineering.
how about IT? its a bit funny la.
biomed? it sounds boring.

but yes, fuck me again, because beggers cannot be choosers.
-grrr.

4:58 PM

sheila & sham: you guys arent the only one. blogger's bloody pissing the hell out of me. :@

1:54 PM

have i already not mentioned that my hair takes half an hour to dry now, instead of the usual 3 hours?
and that i can wash my hair at 9.30pm and not worry that it wont dry in time?
and that the number of rounds the rubber band can tie my hair as increased three-folds?
and that i take shorter amount of time to wash my hair by like half?
and that i use lesser shampoo and conditioner?
and that i look less mad like how i used to with dishevelled(omg! i cant believed i can spell that word!) thick hair?
and that the pony tail is thinner by like half?
and that the length is still the same!

HAHAHHA! OMG!

i'm in a good mood. no, scrap that. i WAS in a good mood. just very kan chiong about my JAE now. rar rar. and if i put all tourism related courses from various Polys its only going to waste my top 6 slots cos all the cut off points are 11, and i got 16. zzz. so i gotta rewrite/think of a new arrangement.

nic, i miss you.

boyfriend, i miss you too.

and have i mentioned? a family friend (of my parent's) just passed away. he was only 39. (and i'm already using past tense) he left behind an unemployed wife who has not much money now, and 2 children age 6 & 7. he collapsed in the shower because one of his artery burst and when his wife called 995, it was engaged. HOW CAN 995 BE ENGAGED YOU TELL ME. and after she rushed down to get a doctor (who also tried calling 995) and performed CPR though he was already quite purple, he died on the way to the hospital. the doctors said if they had brought him in earlier he would have survived.

life is unfair, and God takes the good ones too early.

and to all the important people in my life, you know i love you.

and nic, STOP DRINKING COKE AND CHANGE TO WATER CAN A NOT! grrr. maybe that will make ur cramps hurt less.

sheilaaaaaaaaaaa, i wanna talk to you.... since you didnt know i was missing you too. :(

and joey, stop hurting yourself. you're hurting me too. :(

While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight.

1:18 PM

so, we went shopping today in hopes of finding a bottom for CNY for me. end up he bought a shirt, and i bought a wallet and a blouse. -.-

the wallet is damn cheap la! from outfitter and the usual price is $28 but now, its $8. haha! (omg, i sound like ninny and qi.) anyways, its like a long wallet. i got a thing for long wallets.

and we visited Spotlight where i was supposed to buy felt but end up bought paper. and we fooled around with the hats and i saw this one white hat and it reminded me of Julie Cooper and how she'd sit by the pool with that kind of hat. haha!

oh gosh, i am so tired now. tomorrow working and dreading it (still got lots to do when i come home). :( meeting the Clique on Tuesday. Boyfriend (i cant believe i just typped that) on Wednesday. Classmates on Thursday. this is going to be one enjoyable week. (but pretty rush) and then its CNY already!

everytime i open my closet, my new clothes seem to say, "Wear me!" but i cannot because i gotta save it for CNY. zzz. till then.

10:36 PM

i keep day dreaming and replaying scenes in my head and smiling to myself. damn it, i must stop. haha!

1:39 AM

ok, i'm not really in a mood to blog so this will be pretty short.

looks like my tears and sweat and prayers worked. i got A1 for my science and i'm still in shock! English, math and F&N i got a B3. and this makes the whole cert looks ugly, comb humanities c6. zzz. but thank god for SS which i thnk pulled my geog up. at least i passed! yay! and of cos, D7 for chinese la. i will never pass chinese ok.

thank you sheila, nic, ninny, sham and qi for coming down to lend me ur shoulders and sleeves and tissues and POLORIODS! qi, dont think i dont know ok. i demand for it to be given back to me. thank you gilbert, jo, toi, joey, brudder keng, becky, talib and vivien (and many others) for your well wishes.

all of you believed in me and i cant find the words right enought to show you my grattitude and appreciation. i love you all so super much! :D

now after this relief, i'm getting kan chiong (again) about my JAE.. rawr! is it possible if you dont get into any of the 12 choices? omfg.

12:03 PM

i pulled this out,

and i cannot stop sobbing.

omfg.

11:29 AM

this song makes me cry. and it makes me think of 5 very important people. you're the blood pumping through my veins. thank you, sheila, ninny, nic, brudder keng and joey. you have no idea how much you mean to me.

how to save a life - the fray



Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it’s just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Chorus
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Verse 2
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you’ve told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to god he hears you and

Chorus
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Verse 3
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you’ve followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he’s just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Chorus (2)
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Chorus (2)
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

9:54 AM

i am close to tears and pacing my room like a mad woman trying to tire myself out. but you know what? i cannot.

what if i fail O levels. i am stupid what can i do about it. omg. i am not rich enough to afford private school! omg. sobs. i need sleeping pills.

9:37 PM

TADA! ♥
my hair is cut and its omgwtf#$%$^$#@ thin la! my sister grabbed it and went, "WAHH! OMG SO THIN!" hahahaha!!! it feels damn light and i bet it wont take 3 hours to dry anymore! XD

look at the amount of hair that is on the floor!!!! omg. nic says it could have been a carpet. and the hairdresser took like 1 and a half hours cutting my hair. zz. but we talked a lot of rubbish too. like tattoos and piercings and air stewards. haha. too good a time. XD

8:23 PM

i am going to gardens to meet nic later at 4. to get my hair cut and dinner. just hope the cut isnt bad. zzz. and i woke up at 12 today! so shiok!

nic, i miss you more lor.

and sheila says i'm damn kinky to name my blades after 2 HOT men. what to do. they so hot cannot resist. :D


and now to completly waste both our time

===RULE NUMBER 1===
You can only say YES or NO!

===RULE NUMBER 2===
You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING!

>>Taken a picture naked?
** NO

>>Danced in front of your mirror?
** YES

>>Told a lie?
** YES

>>Gotten in a car with people you just met?
** YES

>>Been in a fist fight?
** YES

>>Been arrested?
** NO

>>Left your house without telling your parents?
** YES

>>Ditched school to do something more fun?
** YES

>>Seen someone die?
** YES

>>Kissed a picture?
** YES

>>Slept in until 3pm?
** YES

>>Fell asleep at work/school?
** YES

>>Felt an earthquake?
** NO

>>Made out with a total stranger?
** NO

>>Touched a snake?
** YES

>>Been in a car accident?
** YES

>>Pole danced?
** YES

>>Been lost?
** YES

>>Sang in a video?
** NO

>>Laughed until something you were drinking came out from your nose?
** YES

>>Sang in the shower?
** YES

>>Ever gone to school partially naked?
** NO

>>Sat on a roof top?
** YES

>>Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
** YES

>>Been told you're hot by a complete stranger?
** YES

>>Forgotten someone's name?
** YES

>>Slept naked?
** NO

>>Blacked out from drinking?
** YES

>>Felt like killing someone?
** YES

>>Made a parent cry?
** YES

>>Had/Have a dog?
** NO

>>Been in a band?
** NO

>>Drank 24 sodas in a day?
** NO

>>Shot a gun?
** NO

>>Ever wanted to kill an ex?
** YES

>>Ever wanted something you can'thave?
** YES

2:01 PM

hello all! excatly 1 month from now is a very important date. please mark in your calanders because i'll be finally legal. ho ho! oh, and today's my parent's 19th annivasry. my mom like to say i'm her 13th month bonus. hee hee!

and toi, go and die ok. my dad's lamer.

omg, O's out in 2 days. i think i will die form anxiety.

anyhows, went to Marina just now for dinner. had Carl's junior and i had like a whole burger and i still cant believe i could finish a whole burger by myself. but, considering i havent eaten for the whole day and i was feeling quite faint and what a pig i can be, its not that surprising right. and i camwhored all the way. zzz.

anyway, saw Yvonne in topshop. she works there. and its been such a long time since i last met her and we just talked and talked until she had to attend to some other customers and feeling bad, i left. zz. and my tummy felt queasy. like there's too much wind in it. oh wells, i am going off now.

my parents just came home and my mom's drunk and cant walk straight. she must had drunk like a million bottles of sake cos she dont get drunk so easily. i bet you a hundred bucks her hangover tmr will suck big time. chao!








11:18 PM

i was in the car today on my way to meet ninny when my dad asked me, "who you meeting?"
and so, i replied, "my friend."
"him?"
"no."
"why not a him?"
"because my friend is a girl!?"
"sheee?"
"ya, i meeting Step..."
"or Shim?"
"..." -.-

and then the cycle starts again. why not a him. is it a shim. zzzz....

anyways, met ninny and we walked ard taka, wisma before heading to far east where i bought my suspanders!!!!!!!!!!! yay! :D

ok, i am going to do something secrective. chao! hahahahahha! btw, i bought a 'LUSTY' chocolate for my parents from TOPSHOP for their Annivasary tmr. haha! it cost me $9.90 ok! :@

8:02 PM

I bought my blades yesterday! Like finally. I arrived late and had to make mikko and her friend, Mae wait. pei seh, so sorry! =x

since I didn't have a clue how to go to ECP, Gilbert graciously offered to send me there when he has a paper today! OMG. Anyway, the pair cost me $199! zz. But its quite ok for that brand of blades. It's black and blue and really smooth. And my dad commented, "WHY YOU BUY SIZE 6 HALF! WHY NEVER BUY 7 OR 7 HALF! I CANNOT WEAR!" solly hor! I buy using 1/4 of my pay leh, you still want to snatch with me. sobs. Then a while later, "did you buy guards?"

I replied, "no?"
and he said, "WHY NOT! I SAID CANNOT BLADE WITHOUT GUARDS RIGHT! LATER YOU FALL DOWN YOUR MOTHER BLAME ME FOR THE SCARS AND THAT I ALLOW YOU TO BUY BLADES."
"..."
"AND YOU BETTER NOT LET ME CATCH YOU BLADING IN SHORT SHORTS AND BIKINI I TELL YOU."
"..."
"DID YOU HEAR ME?"
"yessssssssss........."

I think nic will find this very endearing.. hor? haha! Love.

I wanna name my blades. Help me think of names please! Like..
Ben and jerry? (for the right and left) hahahah!
Samson and Delilah?
Romeo and Juliet? (*gags)
Charles and Keith? (hahahahha!)
how about, Jude and law.
OR JUDE AND LUKAS! HAHAHAHAHA!
Jude and Lukas is good. I need feedbacks! hahahaha!

ok, I need to pee! Goodbye!

{edit}
by the way, O's out on 9 Feb. 2.30pm. watch this space, I'll post my suicide note at maybe around 3.30pm.

anyway, Sheila and nic are making me sound like some silly idiot on their blogs la. zz. its really embarrassing la!

Vday is coming. hopefully everyone turns up on the 13th. and i hope i'll be turned into a moron. (because i said Vday are for morons.)

and we got work on the 14th. so loser *ahem* and loser nat are going for dinner after work.

losers in the world unite!

btw nic, my parents sent me to tumble thots was because they thought my limbs couldnt co-ordinate properly. not funny so dotn laugh. (because they saw me taking very long to get off the bed. zz.)

now i gotta shit. wah lao. bye la.
{/edit}



10:09 AM

3 entries for the last half an hour. I am really bored. But anyway, I'm in this dreamy, floaty mood and I don't really care. :D

I'm embarrassing myself.

10:28 AM

FIRST SCHOOL:
+ tumble thots.
i'm sorry. i'm really bored.

FIRST CELL PHONE:
+ some shit nokia phone that was heavier then my wallet.

FIRST PET:
+ some tortises that my aunt bought for me.

FIRST FLIGHT:
+ to Aust when i was around 5 i think.

FIRST CELEBRITY CRUSH:
+ uh. BSB's nick carter. dont laugh.

FIRST JOB:
+ precious thotz.

LAST PERSON YOU HUGGED:
+ uhhh. i cant rmb. nic i think.

LAST TIME YOU CRIED:
+ not in a long while. yay!

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED:
+ jerry macguire.

LAST FOOD YOU ATE:
+ half boiled eggs for breakfast.

LAST ITEM BOUGHT:
+ food?

LAST SHIRT WORN:
+ my PJs

LAST PHONE CALL:
+ sheila i think.

LAST TEXT MESSAGE:
+ gilbert.

LAST KISS:
+ HA.

LAST THING YOU TOUCHED:
+ the keyboards which i am still touching.

LAST TIME AT THE MALL:
+ erm... friday? compass point for keyboard?

LAST TIME YOU WERE EXCITED FOR SOMETHING:
+ i still am.

LAST PERSON YOU SAW:
+ my dad? he's like sitting right beside me. =x

LAST PERSON THAT BROKE YOUR HEART:
+ hmmm.

LAST SMS FOR?
+ gilbert and telling him how jealous i am because one of my dad's friend is going to watch Man U this weekend (company business thingy) and i am sorely jealous!!!!! :@

LAST TIME YOU WERE REALLY HONESTLY HAPPY:
+ right now just thinking of you. ha!

10:21 AM

i still think V-day are still for morons and am waiting for nic (or maybe someone else) to prove me wrong. but anyway, for the fun, laughter and joy of it.. here goes....

Do you like anyone?:
; yesssss.

Do they know it?:
; i think so.

HAVE YOU EVER. . .

Said "I love you" and meant it:
; duh.

Waited all night for a phone call that never came?
; stupid right? but yes.

Sad and looked up at the stars?:
; i feel like such a moron. but yes.

DO YOU PREFER. . .

Flowers or chocolate?:
; none. can i have you instead? (make that all 3 can?)

Gray or black?:
; black

Color or black and white photo?:
; classic black and white.

Lust or love?
; HAHA! BOTH!

Sunrise or sunset?:
; i've never seen sunrise before. i always happen to face the wrong direction or have buildings blocking my view.. zzz.

M&Ms or Skittles?:
; M&Ms!!!!

N0N VALENTiNES DAY Q`S

Are you in a relationship?:
; nope..

If so, who with?:
; *ahem*

Star Sign?

; pisces

Do you believe in love at first sight?:
; no..

What about true love:
; hmmm..

Would you kiss on the first date?:
; NO!

Do you like hook ups?:
; it depends if he's someone hot and juciy! HAHA.

Do you enjoy receiving flowers?:
; -.- yesssss. a stalk.

VALENTINES QUESTIONS.

You have a valentine event planned out?:
; nic said she wants to date me.

Do you like having a Valentine?
; uhh. everyday also can be v-day mah. what's so special about it.

Does someone like/love you currently?
; i would like to think so..

Whats the best gift to receive on the day?
; love.. be it from friends or someone special.

Is a little kiss (peck on cheek)during school on valentines day sweet?
; hee hee. yes.

Have you ever gotten something from someone on the day?
; my friends love to spluge and they find little occasions to spend. so yes.

How did you spend your last valentines day?
; HA. i went home after school.

Was it a nice one?
; i said i went home right.

If yes, why?
; KNN! I SAID I WENT HOME LA NABEI.

9:54 AM

Just have a little patience I'm still hurting from a love I lost
I’m feeling your frustration that any minute all the pain will stop
just hold me close inside your arms tonight don’t be to hard on my emotions
Cause I need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I'm still healing just try and have a little patience

I really wanna start over again
I know you wanna be my salvation
the one that I can always depend
I'll try to be strong believe me
I'm trying to move on
it's complicated but understand me

Cause I need time
My heart is numb has no feeling
So while I'm still healing just try and have little patience yeah
Have a little patience yeah

Cause the scars run so deep it's been hard but I have to believe
have a little patience
have a little patience

Whooo cause i
I just need time
My heart is numb has no feeling so while I'm still healing
just try and have a little patience have a little patience
my heart is numb has no feeling so while I'm still healing
just try and have a little patience

11:03 PM

i am having a panic attack right now because i heard that O's will be realeased on the 9th of Feb. and you know what little confidence i have in my studies, i went in search of private school already. that was after i went into TP's website and printed out the cut off points for various courses.

keep watching this space, because you'll be reading my suiside note in a couple of days. next week maybe.

7:03 PM

5:01 PM

Natasha
Nat❤Bert!
[#09]
07|03|89
NineTeen
CHIJ Kellock
CHIJ SJC
Temasek Poly [HTM]
natasha_cerise
Friendster

Beautifully Tragic.
With a natural grace and beauty.
Let her world unfold
as the flowers of the morn,
As leaves turn,
And hearts are torn.
Pain trapped in a single tear
Beauty fades as the passing year

Try me.
I'm yours.

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