here are the pics for chalet.
you know what? my lap has been confiscated by my unreasonable father cos he feels i spend too much time on it. and i'm currently using my sister's. its just i was downloading prison break and it took me 3 days to reach 90% and he had to shut it down and take my lap away cos i was like 10 secs late in meeting my parents downstairs.
and the past few days i've been feeling down and even more lonely. but i know its all in my head and i'll try to bucker up.
oh, i spent the past few days finishing off season 3 of the L word and OC (thanks to gilbert who according to him said that he comb half of KL just to find OC for me). sad sad bloody ending. gah.
my dad is so bloody unreasonable. he just came in and shouted at me cos i cant use my comp i had to use my sister's. what the fuck is wrong with that? i was talking to my classmate, tessa who currently is holidaying in sabah. IS THAT FUCKING WRONG? my sister dosent mind. why must he?
in oc, kirsten said "they say you'd marry your father."
i obviously dont want that. i'll rather commit suiside. just that day they belittled me, and i sat there crying wanting at least a human act of kindness or maybe a hug or something, my mother ignored me like i was sitting there staring into space and continued shoving things away and prolly thinking that if she ignored me i wont be a problem anymore. and you know what that bastard said? ""you better shut up." how nice. then my darling sister fetched me a mug or water.
oh, i tottaly feel loved.
and if there's anyone i can trust in this house to show me some love, its my 12 year old sister. at least she msged me an "i love you altholugh you can me annoying sometimes" kind of msg on xmas.
oh and when i was crying myself to sleep that night, mother came into the room and found my sister listening to her mp3 and sleeping. and she said: "why? noisy ah?" WTF. must it be because my sniffling into the pillow cos no one wants to wipe my tears noisy? and not cos its wrenching my sister's heart to hear me so upset thats why she's drowning my sobs with her MP3?
and to think nic thought the father was charming. i wanna shoot her in her head now.
mother said i never failed to drag myself out of bed when i'm meeting my friends and when we go out as a family, SHE has to drag me. first of all, i dont feel like a family. not anymore. and secondly, my friends hug me and show me some love (even the tinest bit of concern) when i cry. they wipe my tears and curse at whoever who made me cry to make me feel better even f they did it. sorta.
nic says my parents love me. but they're obviously not showing it..
oh, and i've made up my mind. i'm going to get that bloody navel piercing wether mother likes it or not, once i've saved up enough.
i'm hurt angry sad insane. all rolled into one. i cant even stand being in the same room as them.
if i ever die one day, they'll be the last of the list of people who'd own my possesions.
8:54 PM
